did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
