Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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