i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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