You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
