No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
