my mouth tastes like poor choices
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
