No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
