went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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