I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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