Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
