Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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