i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
