Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I just sharted jello shots
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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