We named our party play list daddy issues
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
