Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
