That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
