He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
