I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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