I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
ttyl tear gas
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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