Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
