I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
