As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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