You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
