one might say we're banned from that church
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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