Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
