Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
