you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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