you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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