My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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