Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
