i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
