i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
