i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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