Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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