I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
