dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This baby is an asshole
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's blow job season.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
