he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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