Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
