so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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