Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You may now shotgun with the bride
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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