I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
