we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
