Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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