this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
