ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I need moral support for this bender
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
