Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?

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(360): View more from Washington

would you consider him our boss?

(503): View more from Oregon

technically yes

(360): View more from Washington

then technically i slept with our boss

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(707): View more from California

Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.

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(314): View more from Missouri

great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously

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(303): View more from Colorado

My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.

(504): View more from Louisiana

That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.

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(323): View more from California

He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.

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(512): View more from Texas

I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays

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