Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
