In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
