I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
