Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
