I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
